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Monday, April 09, 2007
. You are going to be a great mom:) Before you know it you will be enjoying sleepless nights and the smell of newborn:) I was reading the other day about the disconnect between the dream baby and the outside baby being hard for some mothers to process. Interesting that you post about it here too. Thinking of you on this side of the globe. It is so awesome that you are enjoying your pregnancy. I know that the first two weeks after my first was born were probably some of my happiest. I was tired, but oh so happy. I hope that everything goes well for you. You sound so blissful and at peace. This post made me smile so very much. I'm really so happy to hear that everything has gone so well for you! Congrats and enjoy your little girls. As for myself, I have been actuated solely by the conviction that in the explanation of sexual dreams I should be bound to entangle myself deeply http://startso11.info/www.demapromotin.com.pl.html in the still unexplained problems of perversion and bisexuality; and for that reason I have reserved this material for another connection.. Kingsbury's before breakfast. http://startso11.info/gugle.html. She smiled as she thought of http://rebestal.info/chwilo+trwaj.html Ralph.. I know that you are carrying the ticket for http://startso11.info/DRZWI+ZEWN%C3%84%C2%98TRZNE.html to-day's concert in your bag.. Whether any reality is to be attributed to the http://startso11.info/www.moie+gry.pl.html unconscious wishes, and in what sense, I am not prepared to say offhand.. He remembered that her eyes were almost the same shade, and wondered how it http://startso11.info/PODROZE+TV.html was that women-folk happened on combinations in dress that so well set off their natural charms.. As Elder Brown http://startso11.info/www%2Cgimkace.pl.html paid his small score he was at peace with the world.. I am not sure it http://startso11.info/www.ogloszeniak.pl.html was not part of the charm to have a rustic femme incomprise as a client.. We have http://storyah44.info/polscy+dydaktycy+XIX+w.html learned that the dream replaces a number of thoughts derived from daily life which are perfectly formed logically.. It is quite evident that this state of affairs should http://startso11.info/gie%C5%82da+samochodowa.html be turned around, and that he should be the questioner.. Madam, it http://startso11.info/anspo%C5%82udnie.html was a miracle, replied Titbottom, and for that one sight I am devoutly grateful for my grandfather's gift.. Of late http://startso11.info/www+wolonnntarjat.html years he puts his whole Conundrums in blank--but they please him just as well.. Under certain conditions, one of which is the sleeping state, the balance of power between the two procedures http://startso11.info/makroglobulinemia+waldenstroema.html is so changed that what is repressed can no longer be kept back.. We have said that from the nature of the association mechanism the dream process more easily takes possession of recent or indifferent material which has not yet been seized by the waking mental activity; http://startso11.info/ma%C5%82olatki.html and by reason of the censor it transfers the psychic intensity from the important but also disagreeable to the indifferent material.. They are now engaged at their game of astronomy, continued http://startso11.info/dojazd+kolobrzeg+-+pobierowo.html Mrs.. Kamp wanted, fust off, an' http://startso11.info/www.mazowszezegrze.pl.html he got it.. We talked it over, and http://storyah44.info/bilder.html agreed that we were glad that we had not been obliged to take sides upon such insufficient testimony.. Ellsworth, I http://storyah44.info/pwsz.kalisz.html believe, politely said Mr.. He let go the tiller. http://startso11.info/pogoda+na+dolnym%C5%9Bl%C4%85sku.html. Had their intentions http://rebestal.info/sennik-+psy.html but been known, this inferential invitation would have been most welcome...
So I'm still here. And still pregnant ... a fact which continues to amaze me when I wake up each morning, toss back the covers, discover that great big mountain of a belly -- my belly! -- hiding underneath the sheets. Mornings have become my favorite time. The aches of carrying all this extra weight have been temporarily cured by the night's sleep; the boy snuggles next to me, shifting closer or farther each time there's another kick or wriggle from the babies, depending on which side of the wake/sleep spectrum he wants to be in at the time. He says he doesn't know how I can fall asleep at all these days, with all that hubbub going on inside. Me, I love those pokes and pinches and weird rolling waves; on days when the babes are more quiet, I find I miss the action.
This makes me wonder what it'll be like, just a few weeks from now, when the action moves from inside to outside, and I'm no longer pregnant. I think I feel a little sad -- is that strange? -- that this will soon be over. Unlike my lucky friends who are now on pregnancies number two, this will likely be it for me. I'm so excited to find out what these babies of mine are like, but at the same time, these last few months have been among the happiest ever. For the first time since losing my ovaries, I find I'm not angry with my body anymore. We've made peace, my flawed insides and I. From the belly getting bigger and bigger and the boobs doing the same, to the not-so-fun stuff, like numb fingers and aching back, I can't stop marveling -- that my body can actually do this, grow two lovely tiny humans inside. Each ultrasound report that confirms this still feels like a small miracle.
So this pregnancy thing? It's been great. Somewhat to my surprise, things have gone relatively smoothly since those early scares; I feel healthy and strong and beautiful and good. Still, I've gotten so used to thinking one milestone at a time that looking ahead to the next stage feels strange. Thirteen weeks: end of first trimester. Twenty weeks: halfway there! Twenty-six weeks: babies born could still survive. And now 34 weeks: the point at which if labor starts, there'll be no attempt to stop it, since babies born after this point have a high chance of doing just fine.
34 weeks feels simultaneously reassuring, and scary as all get out. Because after all this time of focusing on getting pregnant, staying pregnant, helping these mysterious beings inside me grow big and strong, we're getting close to the thing that's been the goal all along: meeting our children, our two little girls. Becoming a mom. And I don't know if I'm ready.
There's a crib all set up in our bedroom; our apartment is an explosion of baby gear. We've done the prenatal classes, read stacks of books. But on weekend mornings as the boy and I lie lazily in bed, I think about how long it's been just him and me, and how good this life together has been. It's hard to picture what our lives will be like in just a few short weeks.
# posted by y @ 3:27 PM
You and the boy will be great parents. I can't wait to read all about it.
